Fitting In

When you are a Military Wife, you have many challenges. Those include things like long spaces of time where your significant other isn't around, when you have to be two some times three people at once, and when you have to wear so many different hats you forget who you truly are within. Add to this, the struggle to "fit in" and you have a recipe for confusion.

This special talent is only left to those of us who have never conformed to "societies" definition of a proper person. Now, normally, this would be a wonderful thing because so many people preach that you should never be like someone else. Everyone struggles to be "different" but at the end of the day they still conform to "fit in".  I should state here, I am in no way bad mouthing conformist or saying that there is something significantly wrong with them. Conformity is apart of life and is what makes a society. It just makes life hard for those who aren't the "norm" and they try to find a place in this world.

This was brought to my attention after seeing some friends hanging outside in the parking lot of my townhouses. I consider both of them friends but I am never asked to join them and I felt hurt. I started to get mad and then realized something. I have good friends, as they appear to be, and even though none of them are very close, I know that they will always be there for me.

So why am I hurt that I am not invited to chat and talk every day with the two woman near me? I don't know. I am sure as I continue through school I will be able to answer it but for now, its one of those life mysteries that makes life great :)

To Good Friends and Fine Home Businesses

Hey all!

First, let me just say that change, no matter how small, can tend to be difficult. With that in mind, my recent experience with a friendship ending in shattered pieces, you can imagine how nervous and upset I was when I had to tell a very good friend of mine that I would no long be doing The Pampered Chef. She not only is a good friend she was also my Director and the woman who recruited me to The Pampered Chef. Thankfully not all people come with the same state of mind or the same thoughts in life. Here is the story....

March 31, I hosted a show for Paparazzi $5 Jewelry. My consultant came, she set up, she sat there and we talked while my Husband (yes, my husband) looked at everything. I met my consultant at a fundraiser for a preschool and her table was the ONLY table who had a line. I told this to my Husband and his eyes lit up like firecrackers. She explained that she had only been doing this since December of last year and in 4 months was making a profit. She had over 200 pieces and was able to restock her inventory, make her displays, and earn money for herself as well.

No this isn't a sales pitch......

My Husband jumped on the idea and told me we should do this. I agreed but my loyalties to my friend and Director with The Pampered Chef made me nervous. I hmm'd and haa'd for a while and then I asked how to join up. She told me and then on the 5th of April I joined. I got my kit a few days after that and was amazed! The jewelry was amazing and I was so excited I danced for 2 days. Later that week I set out my inventory and made $65 in 3 hours! I was STUNNED to say the least. I then realized I needed to do some thinking. Paparazzi was giving me so much confidence that I almost forgot about The Pampered Chef. Then I would log on line and see my friend and Director. My stomach would plummet and I would feel guilty. So for the rest of the month, I weighed the pro's and con's and finally came to the conclusion that The Pampered Chef was not for me. Taking a deep breath, I emailed my friend and asked her to meet with me.

The day of the meeting, I couldn't eat anything. I was consumed by guilt and fear. I drove to the meeting slowly (thought I was going to be early) but then got a text from her saying she was there. Oh boy did my heart flip and my stomach naught up. I sped up so that I wouldn't be late (made it with 4 mins to spare). I got there and she greeted me with that brilliant smile of hers. I asked her how she was and she said she was fine. Then she asked me how I was doing. I didn't want to answer her because I knew if I did I would have to explain myself  and I wasn't sure I could. Finally biting the bullet I told her I was nervous. Her next question was an obvious one. She asked why. And I told her. I had to quit The Pampered Chef.

What she said next floored me. She explained that she figured it was going to happen but she wouldn't let business ruin our friendship because my friendship meant more to her then making money from me. She told me how happy she was that I found what made me happy and what worked. She explained that she can always rebuild again and that she completely understood. After that we chatted like friends. The whole time I kept wanting to explain my reasons but I knew I didn't have to use all the excuses I had made. Never once did she make me feel like I was wrong. She actually was happy. I was stunned then and I am still stunned now as I write.

The point of this whole story is this: Even if you have a very bad instance with one friend, it doesn't always mean that someone else is going to react that way. I am so thankful that we aren't cookie cutter people and that we are all diverse in our actions and reactions.

Thanks for reading,

The "Green" Army wife!

P.S. Green tip: You know all that food, leaves, shells, and coffee or tea you have laying around or dumping in the trash? You wanna make it worth something? Help build yourself a beautiful garden with a composting bucket from any of your local hardware store! Composting isn't just for Hippies anymore!

A Lesson to Be Learned

As an Army wife, even just a military wife, friendships often come and go. Some, it's because you have moved, others because they were really just acquaintanceship, still more though, because there was a rift in your friendship. Recently, I have had that experience.  Here it goes...


Little over a year ago, my Husband and I moved into post housing. I had been warned of the drama that could come from this but I brushed it off, mainly, because I do not put up with drama. Shortly after moving our stuff in, actually, while we were still moving our stuff in my husband and I met this wonderful family. They helped us out when times got hard and we were there for them when their times got rough. I looked up to the lady of the house almost like a sister and a confidant. I even, at one point, was watching their child for them so that they could save money on daycare. Everything seemed to be good. 


Being military, us wives know deployments happen. We all dread it and we all go through our stages. Though my husband hasn't gone through a official deployment, he was stationed in Korea for a year. My first stage was super woman. Yep, I thought I had to conquer it all. I fizzled fast and basically my body shut down. Next stage, depression. I was lonely and I wanted him home with me. So then came impatience. That is where everything and everyone annoys the living shit out of you. Where you bite the closes head off and shred them a new A hole. This is what my friend seems to be going through. 


Due to my blogging, she was greatly offended by something I posted. I had written a story about her and her animal from my perspective. I left out names and kept it general. Immediately, she assumes it is about her and jumps down my throat. I delete her comment protecting her privacy. I apologize for offending her and tell her I will remove the story. She continues on and by this time I stop deleting her post. I apologize 2 more times and remove the story but keep it's main point. No editing needed. For those of you who write post know, if you don't need the story to get the point across, the story wasn't the main focus. I believe I did everything I could to rectify the situation.


After I had noticed she unfriended me, I asked my friends who were bloggers, vloggers, or even writers to help me sort this out. They all said the same thing, "Don't ever delete anything that you write. It is apart of you, it is who you are." They also mentioned "If she is getting butt hurt over something that was generalized and then went on to blast herself and tell the world who it was then be mad at you for it, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with." Somehow, she manages to post on my wall and begins to ask those who are responding to me to more or less agree with her side. That is when my little sister Kate (yeah, I blasted ya) stepped in. Let's just say that after Kate took her entire evening to help this friend off the cliff and to see that she was being ridiculous, she still did exactly what both Kate and I knew she would do. 


I received a text stating "I want you to come over for dinner, please." I looked at it and went "Um......no" but did not text this. I was being told to come over to her place so we could talk not asked and I don't respond well with that kind of "offer". I told her I was busy though but maybe the next day. Well the next day came and I went over there to "chat". As soon as I got into her house (because her son didn't want to leave *rolls eyes*) As soon as I get there, she is on the attack. She explains that Kate told her to stop acting like a child and to ask why. She asked and I started to tell but in the end I walked out because she continued to attacked me and refused to listen to anything I had to say. Then she texts that because I walked out it proves I would get just as mad and that we were still alike.


This is a case of two people in the exact situation seeing it from two completely different view points. I left because I choose who, why, and when I get attacked. I also left because she wanted me to apologize for something I did not believe I was wrong about. I had apologized 3 time for offending her and removed the story, there wasn't anything else I could do. She believed I had lied and wanted an apology for every instance. 


For so long, I had looked up to her as an older sister and confidant. It is sad now that I see her only as a person now. But thanks to this instance I was able to come to a wonderful understanding and a brilliant philosophy. I can't control how anyone thinks or what they do. I can control only my own actions and my own thoughts and how I react. For that, I want to thank her. It is nice to be back in with life again!


Thanks all!


Green Army Wife


P.S. Green tip of the day, Tote Bags! Oh yeah, I am talking tote bags! I know it is hard to remember them but I am starting to get the hang of it. First of have some at your house, in your car, as well as a note in your purse, on your smart phone, even on your grocery list. Tote Bags save on paper which saves trees or they save on plastic which cuts down on landfill or trash in the rivers, lakes, and oceans. :)

Stress, isn't fun but it is even more frustrating when you just keep heaping it on top of itself. What am I talking about? Here is the list:
1. Thanksgiving: no money for meal but manage to pull it off.
2. Christmas: no money for meal but still manage to pull it off.
3. Get Strep.... fever 102 for two days worried about house.... (not husbands strong suit)
4. Take friends dog: not a huge inconvenience. I love Grimm. But husband and I decided after Grimm goes home that we would get another dog. Message received. "Looks like I am coming home on the 30th"
5. I am sure you see where this is going... Discuss getting dog. Agreed on Kota like reception or a coonhound who is well mannered for his/her breed.
6. TA DA! Find Tree Walker Coonhound Full blooded amazing manners for 1 year and no training from the Tacoma Humane Society. (Amazing find! Only a few minutes after discussion. Didn't look at any other dogs)
7. Get said Coonhound then shortly after driving away from the shelter, get text "OK, So I will be staying for another month." *Facepalm*
8. Kota (mutt), Casteil (coonhound), Grimm (Great Dane), and Sissy (Cat). Can we say "Zoo" children?
9. Military pay is screwed up. Yep, that's right folks. We got paid half the amount we would have normally gotten. 40 bucks for food. We will make it though.
10. Suddenly, I realize that I am 2 weeks behind in school and I am still typing this while I continue to procrastinate.

That's right ladies and gents! Not only is the normal stresses of work, husband, "kids" (furbabies), and school causing me issues. Guilt... yep, that stomach gnawing, gut retching, guilt. *facepalms again*

Well kiddies, let this be a lesson to ya. Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today!

The "Green" Army Wife.

P.S. Green tip of the day.... PICK UP YOUR DOGS POOH!!! They lack thumbs to be able to pick up their own.

Remissed!

Hello all! I have spent so much time working on my business I forgot about me. I apologize to those who use to follow me and are having issues finding me again. I will search for you and follow you so you can find me. As to all you new folks! Welcome to the crazy, wacky, if not some what eclectic ramblings of yours truly.

Today's post is going to be about my wonderful husband! This man and I have been through so much together it is a wonder we are still together. With starting my new business (http://pcbyalim.blogspot.com/) with the Pampered Chef, I haven't spent much time on everything else in my life. My wonderful husband though has supported me though everything! He has helped me out, learned the products with me, gotten me leads, and has even gently reminded me that I am suppose to be sleeping. I love him so much!!! Husband, you are my rock! Thank you!

The "Green" Army Wife

P.S. Green tip of the day: Did you know that for every cardboard toilet paper roll you throw out your children or pets miss out on a toy? Yep! My cat has a tendency to leave her bell balls in places my husband and I step on them, instead of throwing away your rolls why not tape them  up and put all those loud noise makers inside and watch your "kids" go crazy! Have fun!