A Lesson to Be Learned

As an Army wife, even just a military wife, friendships often come and go. Some, it's because you have moved, others because they were really just acquaintanceship, still more though, because there was a rift in your friendship. Recently, I have had that experience.  Here it goes...


Little over a year ago, my Husband and I moved into post housing. I had been warned of the drama that could come from this but I brushed it off, mainly, because I do not put up with drama. Shortly after moving our stuff in, actually, while we were still moving our stuff in my husband and I met this wonderful family. They helped us out when times got hard and we were there for them when their times got rough. I looked up to the lady of the house almost like a sister and a confidant. I even, at one point, was watching their child for them so that they could save money on daycare. Everything seemed to be good. 


Being military, us wives know deployments happen. We all dread it and we all go through our stages. Though my husband hasn't gone through a official deployment, he was stationed in Korea for a year. My first stage was super woman. Yep, I thought I had to conquer it all. I fizzled fast and basically my body shut down. Next stage, depression. I was lonely and I wanted him home with me. So then came impatience. That is where everything and everyone annoys the living shit out of you. Where you bite the closes head off and shred them a new A hole. This is what my friend seems to be going through. 


Due to my blogging, she was greatly offended by something I posted. I had written a story about her and her animal from my perspective. I left out names and kept it general. Immediately, she assumes it is about her and jumps down my throat. I delete her comment protecting her privacy. I apologize for offending her and tell her I will remove the story. She continues on and by this time I stop deleting her post. I apologize 2 more times and remove the story but keep it's main point. No editing needed. For those of you who write post know, if you don't need the story to get the point across, the story wasn't the main focus. I believe I did everything I could to rectify the situation.


After I had noticed she unfriended me, I asked my friends who were bloggers, vloggers, or even writers to help me sort this out. They all said the same thing, "Don't ever delete anything that you write. It is apart of you, it is who you are." They also mentioned "If she is getting butt hurt over something that was generalized and then went on to blast herself and tell the world who it was then be mad at you for it, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with." Somehow, she manages to post on my wall and begins to ask those who are responding to me to more or less agree with her side. That is when my little sister Kate (yeah, I blasted ya) stepped in. Let's just say that after Kate took her entire evening to help this friend off the cliff and to see that she was being ridiculous, she still did exactly what both Kate and I knew she would do. 


I received a text stating "I want you to come over for dinner, please." I looked at it and went "Um......no" but did not text this. I was being told to come over to her place so we could talk not asked and I don't respond well with that kind of "offer". I told her I was busy though but maybe the next day. Well the next day came and I went over there to "chat". As soon as I got into her house (because her son didn't want to leave *rolls eyes*) As soon as I get there, she is on the attack. She explains that Kate told her to stop acting like a child and to ask why. She asked and I started to tell but in the end I walked out because she continued to attacked me and refused to listen to anything I had to say. Then she texts that because I walked out it proves I would get just as mad and that we were still alike.


This is a case of two people in the exact situation seeing it from two completely different view points. I left because I choose who, why, and when I get attacked. I also left because she wanted me to apologize for something I did not believe I was wrong about. I had apologized 3 time for offending her and removed the story, there wasn't anything else I could do. She believed I had lied and wanted an apology for every instance. 


For so long, I had looked up to her as an older sister and confidant. It is sad now that I see her only as a person now. But thanks to this instance I was able to come to a wonderful understanding and a brilliant philosophy. I can't control how anyone thinks or what they do. I can control only my own actions and my own thoughts and how I react. For that, I want to thank her. It is nice to be back in with life again!


Thanks all!


Green Army Wife


P.S. Green tip of the day, Tote Bags! Oh yeah, I am talking tote bags! I know it is hard to remember them but I am starting to get the hang of it. First of have some at your house, in your car, as well as a note in your purse, on your smart phone, even on your grocery list. Tote Bags save on paper which saves trees or they save on plastic which cuts down on landfill or trash in the rivers, lakes, and oceans. :)